Archive for July, 2008

Has anything you’ve heard delivered in a whisper been worth hearing?

Thursday, July 24th, 2008

I’m not talking about divine revelations, which is another subject entirely. I’m not talking about the faint whisper on the wind of the imminent demise of you and your way of life that we all hear/feel every once in a while. (Don’t we?) To further clarify, the type of whispering I’m talking about is the raspy, slight hissing sounding whisper — a susurrus of vocalizations. I’m not talking here about the “hey, your ball is hanging out of your shorts” type of warning that is spoken in a normal voice but in a low volume so as not to draw undue attention to you while you correct your stray ball. I am also talking about adult human beings who whisper. These are the people who feel their information is important enough to share, but is of such a sensitive nature that it can’t be heard above a certain volume, but that they have to use that raspy/hissy form of the whisper.

I could be wrong, but I honestly can’t recall anything I’ve heard an adult whisper to me being of any value to my life. And I don’t think there was much value to the person whispering it (because by dint of the act, that person revealed himself to be a whisperer, which to me makes him look bad). And if the whisper was about some absent third party, which a higher ratio of the time it is, it certainly wasn’t  enriching to that person!

I hear some of you whispering “Do people actually whisper?” Yes, in my life, people — adults, are sometimes whispering. Again a chorus of whispers rises to ask why I would associate with whisperers. Of course it’s in situations where I don’t have control over who I associate with, but for reasons of commerce, I sort of “have to”.

I’m almost sure a whisper is not only a pain in the ass (because you have to strain your ear to hear this valueless piece of information) but it’s universally worth ignoring. In fact, I wonder what it would be like to halt any would be whisperer in his tracks and just refuse to listen to anything delivered in a whisper. I like that idea. And i have done it, only not as a policy. Enforcing it is definitely something worth considering to me.

But perhaps I’m just being unfair to whispers and am not seeing all their good uses. Perhaps I should start trying to say good things to other people in whispers. “Pssst” (Look left, look right) “Those are cool socks you’re wearing.” (Wink, then walk away.) Or something like that. There have got to be good uses for them. Maybe this post is really my realization that it’s my calling to start a valuable whispers movement.